2013 Highlights

January

My dad and stepmom Tonia came to Las Vegas to visit. We went to Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum and had a fancy schmancy brunch at one of the hotels.

Jason's family came to town for a deck convention (his dad owns a deck building company) and brought us our kitty Zuko. We fell in love instantly.

We found out we were pregnant with our first baby. It was unplanned and unexpected, but of course we were very happy about it. We didn't know we were pregnant when Dad was here, but we had found out before Jason's family came into town so we were able to tell some of them in person.

February

We had a mellow Valentine's Day dinner at Five Guys, and watched my Niners lose the Superbowl.

March

After 9 months of living in Las Vegas, we finally found the temple! Haha. We left church early one Sunday and were determined to find it (it is not easy) and I'm glad we did. It was incredibly windy but we had a nice time walking around the grounds.

Kim, Grammie and Aunt Joy were in town so we all had lunch together at the Hard Rock Cafe.

My mom and Robert drove down to help us move back to Washington. 

A week after moving home, I suffered a miscarriage.

April

With our tax return, we bought a new laptop and sent me to California for a week. It sucked being away from Jason and Zuko, but I had so much fun catching up with my family and friends down there. I went to a Sharks game, to the beach, and saw as many people as I could!

We moved into our first place on our own! My aunt Marlyn let us rent her house, and we have loved living by ourselves.

May

On a whim, I had decided to sign up for a 5K a few months back. I meant to get around to training for it...but that didn't really happen because I hurt my knee. I did the 5K anyway, which I am super proud of because I am NOT a runner. I didn't even do half bad! It was for church, so it wasn't timed but I know that I was definitely within the top 1/3 of ladies who finished :) My knee did great and I finished, that was all I cared about! I made Isabella do it with me, but she just walked the whole time.

June

Jason and I celebrated one year of marriage with a motorcycle ride out to the beach, then dinner at Fujiyama.

I got a part-time job working front desk/cafe at Piper's Playground and met a lot of wonderful people. I learned how to make coffee drinks, which totally intimidated me at first but once I got the hang of it, it was really fun!

Jason, TJ, Jasmine and I participated in a walk for Cystic Fibrosis to support TJ's niece. 

July

We celebrated the 4th of July at the beach with some friends.

A bunch of us went river rafting down in Oregon, which was a blast!

Our family reunion began on my birthday down in Astoria/Warrenton, Oregon. For most of the trip, the weather was cold and wet :( The day we went to the beach, however, we were blessed with sunshine and I got a tan :)

We celebrated my birthday by going out to breakfast with TJ and Jasmine, driving down to Oregon, and going out to dinner with all of Jason's family.

August

Jason took me to my first Seattle Sounders game. We got to go with some friends and we had a blast!

While playing disc golf (which we did a lot of once we moved back to WA--I even got my own frisbee!), I got stung by a bee for the first time since I was a kid. Not so fun. 

Jason and Brandon entered a hole-in-one disc golf competition up north. I watched and took photos. Brandon almost had it, but Jason was nowhere close :) He did throw farther than most of the people there though.

I quit my job at Piper's, and started a full-time nanny job for a baby boy named Gavin. I love working for the Weston family and Gavin is such a wonderful baby! I love being a nanny.

September

Jason turned 25. We had a BBQ party at our house. It rained, so Jason BBQ'd in the garage haha. His family and some of our friends came over, and we played games and ate lots of food!

This was a sad month for us, because our baby was due September 15. I will never forget that date. That was the day we were supposed to become parents.

My friends Mike and Stephanie got married in Spokane. Amber came up, and the three of us drove over to Spokane and spent the night. It was a very very very hot day, but their wedding was beautiful and I got to see a lot of my friends from California.

We added a new member to our family--meet Gus Gus. He is a Rottweiler/lab mix and is cute, hyper, playful, very attached to us, and loves to play with/torture Zuko. They love each other, and we love him.

October

Michelle, Mike, and Landon came for a visit for Michelle's birthday.

Jason and I dressed up as a Pink Lady and a T-Bird for Halloween. We passed out candy at our ward trunk or treat, then went out to dinner with Emily and Curtis.

November

We went up to my cousin's house in Bellevue for Thanksgiving. It was a very relaxing day. Kim had surprised Mom by coming home for a week, and it was great to have her here! 

Jason and I went to a Grease sing along in downtown Tacoma. It was a lot of fun! I'd definitely recommend everyone who likes musicals to attend a sing along one. I want to do Sound of Music next! :)

December

We got our first snow of the season. It wasn't much, and it didn't last more than a few hours but it was still exciting!

Jason and I attended our ward Christmas party, which was Polar Express themed. Unfortunately we couldn't stay long but it was still fun. The next week I went with Mom, Robert and Isabella to theirs.

That's about it. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone!!

XOXO
The Katwijks

River Rafting

On Sunday we woke up at 3:30am and headed down to Maupin, Oregon to go rafting on the Deschutes River. We had eleven people: Jason, me, TJ, Jasmine, Jason's brothers Brandon and Lance, my sister in law Karissa, her sister Kaylene and brother Michael, Karissa's cousin Stephanie and her fiance Derek. We loaded up both cars and made the 4 hour drive down.

I haven't been rafting since I was about 13 or 14, and I fell out at the very first rapid. Not too long before that Jason had told us if we fall in, be sure to keep our feet up. Once I hit the water I totally forgot about putting my feet up. All I cared about was getting back in the raft and not losing my bathing suit bottoms and shorts. I should have listened to Jason though, because I wound up smashing my left leg into a rock. I got back into the raft and Jason pointed out that I was bleeding. Now I have giant scratch marks all over and some pretty sweet looking bruises. At least that was the only time I fell out. Everyone got pushed out at least once or twice of course :)

We stopped for lunch and played in the White River, which is way warmer than the Deschutes. We found a little area where you could lay down and slide down a small waterfall. Originally we had planned to run the river twice, but things ended up taking a lot longer than anticipated so we were able to just enjoy everything and take our time. 

On the way home we stopped outside Portland and ate dinner at Old Chicago Pizza which was delicious. We didn't end up getting home until 11 something and by that time we were completely exhausted. The trip was a blast though! Here are some pictures:

I'm in the water

TJ trying to save me

The biggest rapid. This was right before Jason flew

forward and landed on my head :)

There goes Brandon! I love how you can

see his hand sticking up.

Jasmine and I holding on for dear life!

Back in the raft (sorry these are out of order)

4th of July

We started the 4th of July off with breakfast and card games at the Northcrafts. They are our other half, our married BFF's, and now they only live like 7 minutes away from us (instead of 20)! Jasmine made us margaritas (virgin of course), then we headed to the beach.

On our way we decided to stop in Elma to play disc golf. It wasn't quite warm yet at the beach so this was a good way to kill some time. They have a really nice 18 hole course right off the freeway, and I am finally starting to enjoy disc golf now that Jason has showed me how to throw better :) We had a picnic lunch there, and then made it to the beach.

We hung out with the singles branch. It definitely feels weird hanging out with all the singles when you're married. We ate lots of food, played in the sand and water, and later enjoyed all the fireworks. It was a perfect low key holiday!

They have a special relationship haha

Trying to stay warm!

It was very windy!

Balou wasn't enjoying the fireworks

One Year Down, Forever To Go!

On June 30th, Jason and I celebrated one whole year of marriage! We took the motorcycle out to the beach and spent some time there. On the way there, we stopped in Aberdeen to grab some sunscreen at Walmart, and decided to have a quick lunch. We ended up going to Burger King, and then I remembered that's exactly what we had one year ago right after our wedding :) The beach was very windy but warm and sunny. We put our towels down up on a little hill so it was less windy, and soaked up some sun. On our way back to town we realized it may not have been the smartest idea to ride the bike. Our butts were pretty sore and also very hot!

Our good friend, and one of Jason's groomsmen, Shaun generously treated us to a dinner at one of our favorite restaurants Fujiyama. As always the food was amazing, and of course I ate way too much. After dinner we went back to Shaun's place and played Sorry with him and Annette. 

We love this guy! He's the best!

I can't believe it's already been a whole year. We moved three times, got our first pet together (our baby Zuko), got pregnant for the first time, and had lots of fun! I'm so glad we are living on our own now and I wouldn't have it any other way! We love our house and our little family. I can honestly say I love Jason way more today than I did on our wedding day, and I know our love for each other will keep growing. 

Happy anniversary baby, I love you!

Happiness is a mood, not a destination.

Lately I've been feeling like someone put my life on pause. The three things that I want right now are three things I can't seem to get just yet. I want to be in school. I want to have a full-time job. I want to be a mother. I am actively trying my best to accomplish all three of those, and it seems I am just playing the waiting game on all three. The waiting is making me frustrated, and unhappy. I am a happy person by nature, so I really dislike being unhappy.

Patience is not something I would say I have a lot of. In the middle of a frustrated breakdown that I didn't have the three things I want (and think will make me happy) right now, I remembered a quote from One Tree Hill (go ahead and laugh at me). Here it is:

"So I've been thinking about this whole 'being happy' thing...and I feel like people get lost when they think of happiness as a destination. We're always thinking that someday we'll be happy. You know, we'll get that car or that job or that person in our lives that'll fix everything. But happiness is a mood, and it's a condition, not a destination. It's like being tired or hungry. It's not permanent. It comes and goes, and that's okay. And I feel like if people thought of it that way, they'd find happiness a lot more often."

That really struck me. Here I am thinking that I can't be completely happy or fulfilled without being in school, or working full-time, or without kids. How wrong was I?! I have a wonderful life. I have a wonderful marriage with an amazing man who also happens to be my best friend. I have a great support system of family and friends. Jason and I finally live on our own. We have two adorable cats. We have two cars and a motorcycle. We have clothes on our back, a roof over our heads, and food in the refrigerator. We have good health. Jason has a steady job. I have been blessed with part-time babysitting jobs. So what if I know over 15 people who are pregnant right now and I'm not one of them? So what if everyone else has a full-time job and I can't find one? So what if people way younger than me have college degrees and I don't?

I'm done being unhappy. That doesn't mean that I won't feel frustrated or stressed from time to time. It's even okay to feel sad. I just need to constantly remind myself of all the good things I do have in my life, instead of focusing on what I don't have. Life is what you make it, and it's time for me to start making mine even better. I may not find happiness all day every day, but I can find it every day if I just look for it.

Choose to be happy today. I did :)

Awhile back...

Friday January 18 was a normal day at work until all of a sudden I started feeling extremely nauseous, dizzy, and lightheaded. Luckily, I had just put the twins down for their nap so I laid down on the couch and rested. An hour or so later I felt perfectly fine. Weird, right? I didn't think much of it. I remember talking to Kim on the phone and her suggesting that maybe I'm pregnant. I assured her that I wasn't.

When I went home, I told Jason what had happened. He then suggested I take a pregnancy test. I laughed, and told him that I wasn't pregnant. Other than that one random hour of nausea, I hadn't had any pregnancy symptoms. He convinced me to take one anyway. We went out and bought a pack of 3 tests. He then said I should wait until morning, so the test would be more accurate.

Saturday morning, as soon as we were awake Jason urged me to go take the test. Even though I was convinced I was not pregnant, I was nervous of the possibility that I was. We weren't exactly trying to have a baby right now, although we weren't really trying not to either. I went into the bathroom. The instructions said to wait three minutes for the results. I put the test down on the floor and literally within seconds, two pink lines appeared, indicating that I was pregnant. I didn't know how to react. Of course I've always wanted to be a mother, and Jason and I had been talking lately about wanting a baby, but I will admit that seeing those two pink lines did cause me to panic a bit.

I took a picture of the results on my phone, threw the test in the garbage, and walked into our bedroom. Without saying a word, I held the phone up to Jason and showed him the picture of the results. He started smiling and was very happy. I was still somewhat in shock. We talked about how we felt, and like he always does, he made me feel calm and very good about it.

The next morning (Sunday), we decided to take another test, just to be sure. That one was positive also. I needed to be extra sure that I was really pregnant, so we found a clinic to go to on Monday. I had the day off for Martin Luther King Day. They did a blood test and that was my third confirmation that I was pregnant. They estimated my due date to be September 15.

It took awhile for it to sink in that I was really pregnant. There was life growing inside of me. For as long as I can remember I've wanted to be a mother. My dream was finally coming true. I was excited for me and Jason to become parents.

After a lot of discussing, Jason and I decided our best option was to move back to Washington. We didn't have any friends in Las Vegas, we were still living at Sheena and Roger's, and Jason was unable to find a job there. His boss in WA would take him back, and my mom agreed to help us move and let us stay with her until we found our own place.

We drove up to Utah to spend the night at my grandma's, and we would finish the drive to Washington the next day. That morning I went to the bathroom before leaving my grandma's and noticed some bleeding. It wasn't that bad, so I didn't think much of it. A few minutes into our drive I told Jason that something was wrong. I was starting to get cramps, and I told him about the bleeding. We called Karissa (sister-in-law who is an RN) and she said if it got any worse I would need to go to the emergency room.

That's about the last thing I wanted to hear, and especially not when I'm making a 15 hour drive. We decided to stop in Salt Lake City to see our good friend Brad, and had him give me a blessing. We continued on with our drive fairly uneventfully.

We arrived in Washington late at night and just went straight to bed. The next day I was still bleeding so we headed for St. Pete's.

I figured that since I was pregnant and something was obviously not right, we wouldn't have to wait long to be seen. After 4 awful hours in the waiting room, and one more hour in a room, we were finally seen by a doctor. They sent us to have an ultrasound done where we saw our baby for the first time. The ultrasound tech wasn't saying much, and sent us back to my room.

Our doctor came in and told us the heartbreaking news: our baby had no heartbeat, and had stopped developing at 9 weeks (at this point I was 12 weeks). I don't remember much after that, because this was clearly very shocking and sad news. I can't even describe the pain I felt hearing that our baby had died. Nothing could have prepared me for this.

It's been over 2 months since I miscarried, and it's been extremely hard. I never realized how painful (both physically and emotionally) a miscarriage is. I had no clue I would be so attached and so in love with our little tiny baby this early on.

I will never know why this happened. The saddest part is that it happens to SO many poor women. I had no clue they were this common. That doesn't make them any less tragic. All I know is I wasn't meant to have this baby, for whatever reason. Jason and I are trying to stay strong and keep our heads up, and we know we will have a baby some day when the time is right.

I wanted to write down all these details so I don't forget our very first baby, and my very first experience with the miracle of pregnancy. For awhile, I didn't want to tell anyone about this and it was obviously extremely difficult for me to talk about. It's still hard, but the best way for me to express my feelings and emotions is through writing and this way I will always have those memories.

Back in Washington

We've been back in Washington for a month now. Jason was able to go back to his old job working at Jason's Affordable Auto (yes, he and his boss have the same name) and I have been on the job hunt. I decided to no longer look for nanny jobs, and instead I'm trying to find an office job. I will be starting school in  September to get my CNA (Certified Nursing Assistant) and then go further into the medical field from there, so it would be great if I could find a job in a medical office.

On Tuesday I will be going to visit friends and family in California. It's been awhile since my last trip, and Jason suggested I take our tax return and book a flight. He'd love to come too, but decided it would be better for us if he stayed and continued to work. We are talking about taking a road trip down there this summer so he can meet the rest of my CA friends and family.

It's unfortunate that I wasn't able to get to California sooner, because a friend of mine passed away from bone cancer about two weeks ago. I did actually get to see him the last time I was in California, but of course I didn't know that would be the last chance I'd ever get to see him. I think I will miss his laugh the most, and I will always admire him for how strong and positive he remained even while going through such difficult trials. RIP Nick Stroppa, you are definitely missed.

This picture was taken on St. Patrick's Day

(2008 I believe)

I am typing this from my other tax return purchase--a new laptop! I was going to get a Chromebook but then I found out that I wouldn't be able to have iTunes on it so I decided to go with something else. We ended up getting a Gateway (which also has a bigger screen) and I love it so far. Jason loves me having it too, so I don't have to use his computer :)

Zuko loves living here, but he doesn't do well if no one is home to play with him. We try to bring him over to Lance and Karissa's to play with their bengals every now and then. If we get a house (we are hopefully in the process of...more details to come!) we'd like to get another kitty for him to play with.

He thinks he has such a tough life.

Michelle, Mike, and Landon came for a week long visit. We didn't get to spend too much time with them but it was still fun seeing them! Mom, Michelle and I took Landon to the mall and had lots of fun laughing at his dance moves inside every store playing music. So cute! He's finally getting "big" but still such a tiny boy! He looks like he is way too small to be able to walk. I think his favorite thing to do while at our house was chase Zuko around and say "kitty!"

Holding his sock and showing off those bottom teeth!

Stud muffin

For Easter, my family went to Ellensburg, so Jason and I went to church alone and then to his parents house for dinner. It was a surprisingly warm and beautiful day so we got to enjoy some time outside while waiting for his family to get home from church. The day before Easter we had gone over there to do our egg/basket hunt.

Here are some other random pictures from the last month:

Google hangout with Candace & Aiden

The crazy Katwijk boys :)

A rainy day trip to Tolmie State Park

Yesterday Eliza and I took a trip to Portland