Worth The Wait

So I know I'm not "old," but I grew up thinking that I would probably get married around age 20. People in my church just tend to get married at a younger age, so that is what I thought was normal, and what would happen to me. At age 20, I was living in California, having way too much fun, and was nowhere near ready to get married.

Once I turned 22, I started wondering if I should start looking for a husband. I still didn't feel ready, but some people (*cough* MY MOM *cough*) made me feel like an "old maid" because I wasn't married, or even close. A little while later, I started realizing that most of my friends were in serious relationships, and it made me want that. I still didn't feel ready for marriage though.

In November 2010, my younger sister Michelle got married. I can't count how many times I was asked "Shouldn't you be first to get married?" or "Are you jealous your little sister is getting married before you?" My honest answer to both: "No." I knew I wasn't ready. I knew she was. Age doesn't necessarily determine one's readiness for this kind of commitment. I knew that Michelle had found the man of her dreams, and they were ready to take that next step. I did have a boyfriend at the time of her wedding, but it was someone I knew I wasn't going to marry. Her wedding made me think a lot, and it contributed to me breaking up with my boyfriend. I knew that if there was no marriage potential for me, I was just wasting our time.

Last year, I started feeling like marriage was finally something I was almost ready for. I didn't have anyone to marry at the time, but I felt like I should prepare myself just in case I met the right guy. So I started doing a lot of "me" work. Last year was a little rough because I went the longest I had ever gone without dating someone. That was slightly frustrating because I felt like I was more ready than ever to be with someone...so where was he?

I've always been content being single, and am proud to say that I have never been one of those girls that has needed a boyfriend to feel complete or to feel good about herself. I honestly feel sorry for those girls. I am very independent and confident, but it was still tough not having anyone special in my life for so long. I took comfort in knowing that I could be dating, but I had high standards and also knew that I wouldn't even bother dating someone unless there was potential for marriage. At this point in my life, I was tired of just having fun, and was finally looking for something more serious.

What some of you don't know is that I did like Jason last spring/summer. I actually told him how I felt (which is extremely unlike me), but he wasn't ready or looking for any kind of relationship. So we continued being friends...who hung out all the time, would cuddle occasionally and yes, we did kiss a few times. Eventually we dated other people and just remained friends.

I'm actually really grateful that things never progressed between us last year. Neither of us were ready for anything. I thought at the time that I was, but looking back I can see that I definitely was not, and I know he wasn't either. If we would have dated last summer, it would not have been very meaningful and it probably honestly would not have lasted. I know now that we both needed some time to ourselves and with other people to learn and to grow and to make ourselves ready for a serious relationship.

I could not be happier with how everything has turned out. I am so glad I didn't just "settle" for whoever I was dating before, or that I didn't rush into anything with just any random guy because I wanted to get married. I am so glad I waited until I found the perfect man for me. I honestly never expected this to happen, but I am ecstatic to be marrying this wonderful person! I love everything about him, I could not ask for a better person to spend forever with, and I cannot wait to become Mrs. Katwijk :)